Dating

So I met a girl last weekend named Katelyn. What impressed me about her was that she wasn't very scared of openning up in a conversation, even when we first met at the Midlothian Starbucks Friday night. Saturday I called her and we hun out some more.

Monday I asked her if she'd like to see a movie and grab a bite and she was up for it and it went quite well. I remember on the way back to my house my stomache tightened when I reounded the corner because I knew the night was over. She'd soon be in her car and take off for home. Before I let her out, I told her that I liked her. She told me she liked me too but that she wasn't ready for a relationship with school around the corner and moving to Denton in a few weeks. Casually hanging out would be fine but she doesn't want to lead me on. I just wish I could convince her it would be all right.

Anyway, I've told Nikki about all this. She's listened really well and helped me a bit.

Story of my life. Just when things start to go right things fall through.

Love and Friendship

Being Nikki's best friend is masochistic. Each time I'm with her, all I hear about ishow much she loves her boyfriend Beau. In my honest opinion, although Beau is a good guy, he lacks ambition and he doens't do enough for her. He's older than either of us yet doesn't ever have a car or the means to drive up to Arlington to see her.

I love Nikki in an odd way. I can't yet say for certain if it's a romantic love, but it's there. The kind of feeling as if there's nothing else in the world. At one point it was romantic and in the past I've tried. She wouldn't let have me. And I never imagined for us to continue our friendship in the way that it does. The nights she isn't working and she isn't with Beau, we spend together watching movies or I go out of my way to entertain her. Last week she complained about how she was tired of doing nothing but watching movies at Beau's house and so I fashioned a mini-roadtrip to Midlothian, where we met with one of my firends and talked for a short while at What-A-Burger.

But being the best firend doesn't count seem to count for much. Through all of her boyfriends, she's had to play chauffeur for them; none of them had a car. When her car broke down last semester, her boyfriend at the time, Ashby, was unable to do a thing for her. I took her to school, took her out to eat, and I helped her make her errands. Prior to that I hadn't seen much of her since Ashby didn't particularly like me around. And now she has Beau and I've taken a back seat to him as well. Despite all her grievances against him she still defends him from any criticism I might have of him. Two nights ago I took her out for sushi to celebrate my new job. The next day she spend the entire time musing over how great the intimate relationship she has with Ashby is.    

I can't sleep.

	It's raining. The kind of rain you'd see in a film noir movie. I'm awakened by the sound of thunder and I toss about in my lonely bed for an hour. I know I need to get my sleep. Especially since I have class at 8:30. Still, things are on my mind. things too heavy for dreams to handle.

Christmas was nice. Kevin and An are here in Texas visiting.

The holiday itself was hectic. Lots of relatives visiting and the shouting of small children. I had a migraine through most of it.

Everyweekend I hang out with Joe. He's a good friend. there aren't many people that I can be sure are my firends. But he's been there for a while.